….no matter how small they may be.
This raccoon had just bought himself a crate of beer and upon leaving the store found Li’ll Skidderz standing in front of him.
Skidderz asked the raccoon if he could have one of his beers. The raccoon snarled and shoved his way past Skidderz.
“Well how about i give you the money and you go buy me a sixpack of my own then?” The young hyena shouted.
“Get lost kid!” The raccoon shouted back without even turning around. “I ain’t got time for little pimpsqueaks who cant even dress themselves!”
Skidderz scowled at the raccoon. “Come again?!”
The raccoon stopped, turned around and angrily shouted “I said you’re a dumb little s**t who cant dress himself! What’s the matter kid was your mommy too busy to dress you this morning. YEESH! PULL YER FRIGGIN PANTS UP FOR F**K SAKE!”
Skidderz spoke in a calm tone but maintaining his vicious scowl. “That’s it! You just crossed the line buddy! No one insults the Wedgie Gang uniform and gets away with it!”
The raccoon laughed sarcastically “The Wedgie Gang?! Seriously?! Am I supposed to be threatened by that?! Am i supposed to be pissing my pants begging you for mercy with a name like that?! So just why are you called The Wedgie Gang?”
Skidderz smiled and began to walk towards the big intimidating raccoon “You’re about to find out.”
The raccoon gave another sarcastic laugh. “Ohh im so scared!” He sarcastically cried. “I’m about to get my ass handed to me by a little kid with his pants round his ankles. Seriously kid! What’s a little diaper baby like you gonna do to a big fat motherf****r like me?”
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SCENE MISSING
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When the raccoon came round he felt intense pressure on his balls and a sharp pain in his ass. It then dawned on him that he’d somehow been put into a nasty hanging wedgie. The raccoon struggled helplessly trying desperately to rip his already well worn tighty whities. He glanced over to see the crate of beer he’d only just bought had been completely pillaged and all that was left were a load of empty bottles.
Just off to the side the raccoon could see stumbling around and barley able to walk straight, a drunken Skidderz.
The raccoon was furious, he flailed frantically, trying to get his hands on the cheeky hyena who’d drunk his booze but his underwear just would not break. “WHY YOU PESKY LITTLE…..!!!!”
*Hick* Skidderz interrupted. “Who’s the *Hick* diaper baby now eh *Hick*?” The drunken hyena picked up the last bottle of beer and began to stagger away from the helpless raccoon.
“COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE ONLY 8 YEARS OLD!!!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I’M GONNA BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!!!!”
“*Hick* Ya shoulda just bought me a *Hick* sixpack like i asked ya to GRAMPS!!”
The raccoon was now filled with bloodthirsty rage “THAT’S IT!!! JUST YOU WAIT!!! BY THE TIME IM THROUGH WITH YOU NOT EVEN DENTAL RECORDS WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOU!!!!!”
Skidderz continued staggering away giggling drunkenly at the angry raccoon. “HATERS GONNA HATE!!” he shouted back as he stumbled away into the night, singing a random drunken song to himself.
The End
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